lawnmower man
This nice man stopped by in a van today and offered to mow the grass to uniform tallness. Sloth trusted him immediately due to his tuftedness of qualities, plus he reminds Sloth of something or someone, which makes a poignant feeling. This lawnmower man displayed a variety of colorful lawnmowing machines -- such complicated technological wonderment! But Sloth is not sure if it is good to be pro-mow. A level of protection could be lost, maybe. Sloth took the LM's business card (which is a piece of toast with his name and number burned onto it), and promised to call him with an answer. Sloth will nap on it.
posted by sloth @ 11:33 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
Hmm. Sloth, do you really trust this tufted person who is also a tuft-remover? It seems suspect to me.
Mowing lawns releases diseases that can infect the most private of parts. Let it grow, baby!
general genital, are you a multinational corporation, like General Electric or General Motors?
So far, the "spare the grasses" camp seems to be the most vocal. still, Sloth felt such a poignance for the LM, and wants to help him out.
okay, who ate the toast-card???
I did not eat the toast card, but I did take it and put it in my toast tower. I am sorry. I can probably remember his number, I am a good memory receptacle. However, I do think you can trust this man and he has many mowers so he will tend to the grass just right. And maybe he will mow messages into the grass for you. I think it will be nice, Sloth, somewhat manicured grass, but a little rough around the edges.
Good for Sloth. How was your nap?
MM, did you visit the Log while Sloth was asleep? And you took the toast-card from under the pillow? How very sneaky! But Sloth will forgive if MM helps get the mower creature back. Upon wakening, the true extent of the weed problem became apparent. Major landscaping treatment is needed!
Mr. Mountain Man, in your toast tower, do you have one of the many toasts with my visage burned into it? Dozens of these are available on eBay. Only about 6% of them are real miracles; the rest are hoaxes. You can also find toast images of Michael Jackson and the Runaway Bride. You might be able to sell your toast tower on eBay for a large sum, and donate the profit to the Power and the Glory, hmm? Don't you want to go to heaven, Mountain Man?
Unlike General Electric, General Motors or even General Mills, I am an actual General, er I mean, Consul General at the US Consulate at Goandwanna Land. At ease, carry on.
I do not wish for heaven, Virgin, although I am sure it is quite nice. I prefer the wantonness of excess muck.
Sloth, I am concerned you've been consumed by weeds? Where is the justice? I will replace the toast card back in its rightful place at once. As soon as I am finished harming Beth.
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