Saturday, December 31, 2005

holiday spectacular on ice



You may ask: What force of nature or un-nature would compel a hyena and a sloth to travel northward during the shortest days of the year? Sun spots? Brain damage? Death wish? The answer is simple: loot. The coffers had run low over the course of the last year, so a trip to the Land of Origins had to be made for presenting the burnt offerings in exchange for fuels of various types and sorts. The resulting haul was so bountiful that the little red (as-yet & still nameless) car scraped bottom all the way home, causing a festive plume of sparks, which reflected in the black ice. Fellow travelers beeped their horns in joyful appreciation.

Finally: home at Log, and busy stashing the goods in secret hidey-holes. HFP is making maps so as not to forget the locations in times of need. The maps will be tattooed in reverse on our bums, in order for mirror-legibility.

A new and disturbing phenomenon has developed over the course of travel: Slothy had developed a storage pouch, marsupial-style, probably in response to over-exposure to the fuel sources. It is an evolutionary mutation, a step forward for the sloth species, an adaptation to the northern climes. Fuel will be stored in the pouch for later, when needed. Wandee suggests using it to conceal cleaning supplies or pharmaceuticals. Maybe both. The tattoo of this map will have a dotted line leading from the back bum area to the front, no mirror-reversal necessary.

A final note and wish: Death to 2005! And may the coming year be filled with smiling fortunes for all the blog-buds. Hugs.

10 Comments:

At 12:25 PM, Anonymous 2005 said...

shut up. i am dying here... a little sympathy, please.

 
At 6:21 PM, Anonymous pd said...

Yay for the death of you--2005! I am sick and tired of your evil ways.

Slothy...may you have an abundance of nitrates in 2006. HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and hyena.

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Thanks, PD! May your slicer be sharp and your resolutions easily attainable in the coming year... Much luck & joy to you!

 
At 1:24 AM, Anonymous Mountain Man said...

Happy New Year sweetest of all peas!!! We miss you and hope to view your tattooed, mapped bums soon. We must.

For now it is time for slumber.

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger Regi said...

I wish you and yours a BOUNTIFUL NEW YEAR. Happiness follows bounty

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger sloth said...

MM, thank you from the bottom of the sloth-bottom. Dream a mountainous dream, o hairy one.

Regi, thank you, and likewise to you! Here's to your happiness and ha-penis.

 
At 1:14 AM, Blogger Echo said...

cAREFUL WHAT YOU PUT IN THAT POUCH SLOTH, IT WILL COME OUT SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

 
At 2:15 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

wow sloth! look out that booty! I'm talkin' about your presents yo. Way to go!

(happy new year to you and HFP.)

 
At 6:40 AM, Blogger Erik Mann said...

another great blog from you guys. i'd point you to mine but it isn't yet the way I'd like it. i do have a website that I think is cool, kind of almost about martial art uniform

 
At 8:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice post. I would love to follow you on twitter.

 

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