Wednesday, October 26, 2005

speak to the toad



Toad is here to absorb all of your worst, most slimy problems. Press your face close to the sticky brown skin and murmur your concerns to the toad. Then lick the toad for a dose of forgetfulness. Lay your head down on the toad-pillow and drift off to sleep for total healing and transformation.

20 Comments:

At 5:15 PM, Blogger sloth said...

toad can also be administered rectally if the need is very great.

 
At 5:34 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

Toad is compelling. Toad, please help me!!!!

 
At 5:39 PM, Anonymous splinter said...

hmm. ham-and-toad.... sounds delicious.

 
At 5:59 PM, Anonymous toad said...

breathe my dankness, little ham-lette. taste the toad and feel the problems slip away, away...

 
At 10:17 PM, Anonymous Sexual Plumber said...

This toad needs a good raping in the tush. No offense toad. I think you would like it densely. I do. Otherwise I would never suggest it. Just try it once.

 
At 10:23 PM, Anonymous toad said...

sexual plumber, toad would like to barter some toad-magic for a plumber's-snake-treatment. please respond with your terms.

 
At 10:36 PM, Anonymous Sexual Plumber said...

My terms are: I come to your place with a bottle of sparkly pink champagne. I soothe you with warm words and the caresses of unity. You succumb to my tools and kits and things and we remain friends until the end. I would like to soothe and be soothed. I am the plumber for all nations and times. I have nothing but like to share. Nothing but the sweetest of wrenches for pipes.

 
At 10:37 PM, Anonymous Sexual Plumber said...

Please Toad, tell me more of your healing ways. You are so plump and dynamic in your stillness, a puddly soggy contradiction. Your eyes are lolling in calm and sweetness. I am nine times calmer than before I made your aquaintance.

 
At 10:42 PM, Anonymous Champagne Dancer said...

I will perform a ritual dance around your head, Toad, before and after the lite plumbing (which may hurt). I will conduct your pain particles into ez listening. Think synthesizer. Think sparkles.

 
At 12:12 AM, Anonymous toad said...

CD/SP: Can you do all of these things while the toad is asleep or half-asleep? That would be the most erotique way. A warning, though: the plumbing of the toad is very, very complex. Some say it is unknowable.

 
At 12:23 AM, Anonymous Sexual Plumber said...

Unknowable, yes, like the sublime, the deluge, the eschaton. I am interested, Toad. I have patience and the means to drowse you. I will plumb beginning at sundown tomorrow. Nighty night, Toady.

 
At 12:23 AM, Anonymous Sexual Plumber said...

Thank you for allowing me this high level of access. The spirituality you are sharing is overwhelming my tool kit. Hearts.

 
At 12:31 AM, Blogger sloth said...

SP, the thanks of the toad will be communicated through internal sign language just before loss of consciousness.

 
At 10:41 AM, Anonymous code toad said...

toad, I am wondering if I know you. I look a lot like you but I work in an office of doom. I do not posess your lickable qualities.

 
At 4:03 PM, Anonymous toad said...

code toad, I do know you, and you are, in fact, eminently lickable.

 
At 4:04 PM, Blogger sloth said...

kitten cam update:
The kitties have been released from the cage and are tearing around the livingroom so fast you can hardly see them!

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger sloth said...

(oops, nevermind, they're back in the cage and snoozing now.)

 
At 4:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info
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