Tuesday, February 14, 2006

keeping up with the jones



It's official: slothy is addicted to the interwebs! A googly search for "addiction symptoms" produced the following list of telltale signs:

* Seclusive behavior - long periods spent in self-imposed isolation. 
* Long, unexplained absences. 
* Lying and stealing. 
* Involvement on the wrong side of the law. 
* Deteriorating family relationships. 
* Obvious intoxication, delirious, incoherent or unconscious. 
* Changes in behavior and attitude. 
* Decrease in school performance. 
 
Wondering if there are any online recovery chat groups for this problem...

64 Comments:

At 12:49 PM, Anonymous What can I do for brown? said...

It's the decrease in stool performance that really concerns me.

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger sloth said...

lol! Oh my god that actually happens. I read an article that described a woman who was so addicted to the internet that she sometimes "didn't make it to the bathroom..."

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger JD said...

Sloth, I partly blame you and your blog friends for my burgeoning addiction. It came on slowly, but is now utterly controlling me. Does this mean that I am not truly living? I must go make art now. But the Finch thread is obsessing me. What if i just stayed here forever? I could order in. I have an exercise machine here, there is running water, and I can get world news online. I might run out of toilet paper, though.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger sloth said...

JD, one day there will be a computer that also dispenses TP, I just know it.

 
At 2:19 PM, Blogger sloth said...

P.S. I'm just sending my telekinetic monkey to make the paintings these days, and they are WAY better.

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

sloth, PLEASE forward me the link about the woman with the stool problems.

i know what you speak of re: blog addiction. because of my employment, my sad, pathetic, nothing to do job i am able to feed this addiction all day long. honestly though, it gets me through the day. is it so wrong?

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger sloth said...

me too, FB. No, it is not wrong. it is very, very good. keeps me off the streets.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger sloth said...

http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/p980852.html

third paragraph under "Signs and Symptoms."

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

"Patient B also has a history of substance abuse, and compared his feelings when he was on a chat line to an amphetamine high."

Huh? what? what chat line are these people on?

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Gotta be porno, FB...

by the way, IT ACTUALLY EXISTS:

http://www.selfpsychology.org/forutoc.htm

 
At 3:03 PM, Blogger sloth said...

like an AA meeting in a bar...

 
At 3:49 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

slothy. I like your addiction! And I must be very very addicted as indicated by my stool production.

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger sloth said...

I am also addicted to Ham.

 
At 7:31 PM, Blogger Corny said...

Slothy the disturbing images you present on on Logworld keep me perpetually off-balance, and I am drawn to them again and again and again. I think anyone who stumbled into logworld would immediatly ask themselves, are these posts (and comments you sprinkle around) the bumbling idiocies of an bitter old pot bellied addict engaged in alienated behavior, or is there place in society to and question and disrupt the Bridges of Madison County crowd. This thing we have going is sheer genius. Maybe you should print your blog out on nice paper and staple it together and hold it. It's a work of art. I say all this because I'm afraid it won't last forever and I do so enjoy it.
Are you having an "What is it all for?" moment? Let that just wash right over you then say bye-bye guilt, lalalalala, skipping away. You are the goddesses gift to the blogisphere and everyone know it.

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger sloth said...

CORNY. I blush.

The Log blog is being printed out right now, onto some very nice marblized paper from Kunt's Paperie.

I am going to clip out your last post & hi-lite it with a yellow pen & sprinkle it with glitter, and it will serve as a cover blurb. Also the Times has been instructed to print it as my obit, when the time comes.

Thank you from the heart of my bottom, dearest Corn Cub.

 
At 9:35 PM, Anonymous pd said...

I thought I was addicted, but thankfully I do not have a decrease in stool performance.

 
At 9:36 PM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

Or is it school performance?

Sorry to gladhandle, but I MISSED YOU SLOTHY!

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger JD said...

Sloth and friends, my addiction has been caused by the wit and fun I find on your blogs. Please don't doubt your worth or importance. I think I can manage my addiction if I set a daily time limit for doing this, say, from 7am until 8am daily.

I emailed Walter Robinson VERY NICELY today about the Finch thing, and received an unbelievably obnoxious and insulting reply. I now feel tainted.

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger sloth said...

oho, JD, you MUST SHARE.

 
At 11:48 PM, Blogger sloth said...

also JD, you may notice that this blog mis-attributes your post by 3 hours! That means you can sleep in & post from 10 - 11 a.m., and still get credit for being an earlybird.

 
At 12:36 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

ok, i should not be on the blogs at 12:23 finishing a bottle of wine for no reason. but... "Kunt's Paperie" just made me laugh out loud. Many thanks!

 
At 9:43 AM, Anonymous Mountain Man said...

Corny is right you Slother, Queen of the Night and Day of the log. Sprinkle your blurb with glitter and go forth with full knowledge of your gift-giving propensities.

 
At 10:09 AM, Anonymous regi said...

sloth, corny's worries worry me oh please dont stop the goodness of logworld.

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

You better not give up the blog! You got to blog the good blog. No giving up.

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger sloth said...

oh, dear pals: I would never give it up; this whole post is about sweet, sweet addiction! Log has a long life ahead. I have graduated from snorting the ether to mainlining a firewire. Still got lots of veins left, so no worries.

 
At 10:45 AM, Anonymous krixfort said...

slothy I am an addict in the worst way. I've tried rehab. didn't work. I guess I'm a functional addict though so society doesn't mind too much.

 
At 10:48 AM, Anonymous krixfort said...

p.s. I got labeled a webaholic by the media. for reals.

http://www.krixfort.com/blog/2003/10/krixfort-online-since-1996.html

hello world. I'm compulsive.

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger sloth said...

HA! Krixy, you are my role model.

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

i often wonder how much time i would be on the blogs and such if I didn't work at an internet company. I mean today I have nothing to do. seriously. and 8 hours to kill.

Lately I have felt major computer avoidance on my down times. but then the next day comes around and I just have to check the blogs. must get my next fix i guess.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger JD said...

Sloth, I hadn't noticed the time warp. This is wonderful! Not only will I get free toilet paper dispensed from my trusty computer, but I get at least 2 hours a day added to my life!

And here's the text of my exchange with Robinson (I used my real name in our exchange, but have deleted it here). I now think he's simply a psycho. And I was way too polite, in retrospect, but I guess I was hoping for results. And take special note of the way WR signs off.

Dear Walter, 
 
I won't bore you with my dislike of Charlie Finch's sexist tone. But I think it would be great for the art world (and for your site) to  feature two new things: 1) an online "Letters to the Editor" section to provide a forum for response and discussion to what is written by a purposefully controversial writer, and 2) to please, please feature a smart woman critic who can provide a counterpoint to Finch. 
 
Please consider it; it'd be fun! 

JD


Dear JD, 
 
Thanks for your comments. I work quite hard enough as it is, believe me, without also providing a forum for any noodle-brain with an email  account. For that there are the Artforum message boards, not to mention all the peanut-gallery art blogs! 
 
I am doubtless wasting my breath, but I would urge you to re-read the Natalie Frank article and look at the illustrations of the artworks, and try to think a little more clearly and independently about what's really being said and how. For god's sake, we're supposed to be free-thinkers around here, not little ayatollahs! 
 
As for smart women critics, I publish quite a number of them, and as far as I can tell, they have their own agendas, which rarely involve Charlie. That, rather, seems to be the specialty of dingbat bloggers both male and female. 
 
Ha ha, 
 
W. 

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Holy sh*t JD... your email was reasonable, and his reply unbelievably condescending & insulting. Where to begin with this one? He is exposing himself as a real asshole.

Love,
Little Ayatollah Dingbat

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

JD, have you emailed this to Edna? I bet she would be interested. This needs to be posted somewhere. Someone is not taking the critical mass of frustrated noodle-brains seriously enough. Whatever. He doesn't know who and how many people he's catching flack from, how many people are losing respect, in my opinion. To dismiss the bloggers is so short-sighted. Plus, lumping everyone in together is ridiculous. We all have different purposes and "agendas." I wish Edna was writing for Artnet. She is up for the task. This pisses me off.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

ps - I have always been proud to have pasta in my head instead of a brain.

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger JD said...

Yes, I think he might be irredeemable. He's not listening to reason.

I'm going out into the globally-warmed winter air now to get gesso and mineral spirits. Hopefully by drinking the entire gallon of the latter, I will be able to forget this toxic Finch crap, and will happily go back to making my little dingbat-assed paintings. Actully, I will sit, sipping mineral spirits from my snifter, and make the telekinetic monkey do it for me.

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

Delicious mineral spirits.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

I am off to make my pussy ass paintings too. Power of the pussy, please come into me to make great great sellable art!!!

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger JD said...

And yes, I think I will email the exchange to Edna. Thanks for mentioning that. He's really off base: we are not a peanut gallery! We are respectable artists with real careers.

I'm getting pissed again.

 
At 11:56 AM, Anonymous pussy power said...

I am at your service, MM and JD.

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Go JD! I do agree with MM that this should be shared. I am really getting fed up with the whole WR/CF/Artnet phenomenon. maybe a boycott really is in order. And a decent, more balanced alternative.

What a dick.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

I'm not looking at artnet anymore. F HIM. What kind of person writes that kind of insult-slinging response? whoa.

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger mountain man said...

Me too. No more artnet. It used to be my everything, but now I get all I want and need from the blogs. True.

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger sloth said...

yep, and how kind of him to direct our attention to Artforum...

 
At 12:12 PM, Anonymous telekinetic monkey said...

JD is not at home; she has gone out into the real world. I think she'd want me to say, though, that boycotting Artnet is a great idea. I have to run now and get to her studio before she arrives; she's mean to me if I don't have fresh-brewed coffee waiting for her.

 
At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Sloth's telekinetic monkey said...

Slothy has been given the opportunity to fly the beige coop early today; the donuts are waiting to be made, shackside.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

SLOTH!! Good for you and I wish you much magic in the relic shack. My boss is gone today. I am leaving at 5 i think.

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger sloth said...

I can leave in an hour... oh, sweet freedom. Actually bittersweet, because unpaid.

 
At 12:37 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

speaking from a communications perspective, the response from WR would indicate that he is not aware of what is happening around him. It is easy to be dismissive of blogs and bloggers but that is limiting your focus as a writer, editor, publisher, politician, or business person. He should read The Cluetrain Manifesto. There is conversation happening all around him. He can choose to participate in it or be blindsided by it and if he ignores the conversants, in time, they will ignore him.

 
At 12:39 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

pee ess. . .artforum was looking for a web developer. Should I apply and subversively shake it up over there? I.T. people are insidiuos that way.

 
At 12:39 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

they also make spelling errors.

 
At 1:00 PM, Blogger sloth said...

YES krix! Excellent points.

(I initially thought "read the Cluetrain Manifesto" was slang for "get a clue," but check it out, it's a real book! Gotta gits.)

You're right: WR is going to suffer the consequences if he remains willfully blindered. He will fall by the wayside, irrelevant, the Betamax of the artworld.

 
At 1:03 PM, Anonymous regi said...

PROTEST AGAINST ARTNET BY GETTING EVERYONE TO CALL THEM CONSTANTLY

212-497-9700

It will work

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

Okay, JD, what an obnoxious response to your valid suggestions. I am so tired of fartnet and Finch and the gang. BORING. Heck, I'd rather listen to the gibberish of fancy-pants "anonymous" over at Painternyc blog.

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

As for the blog addiction....i have decided that blogging at the beige is very, very good for my job for a number of reasons.

1. My typing has improved. I have gotten faster and make less mistakes.

2. I also seem busier than I am...making my boss think I am a good worker.

3. I often run book ideas by my friends in the ether...getting their expert opinions on the salability of manuscripts....

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

ALSO, as for Finch. I remember a review he wrote for an attractive woman artist and all he talked about was the opening and how nice her tits were.

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Regi said...

The Finch protest starts today!

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Regi, I like your idea... I wonder how many bloggers would have the guts to do it... the ether provides a protective remove that telephone confrontation dissolves. Which is also why it's a good strategy.

 
At 1:37 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

hey PD, at least over at PainterNYC there is dialogue, even it gets out of hand at times. Even when it does get out of hand everyone gets to share their view point and crafting a thoughtful response to an inane comment will always get your brainbox working. I think that's a pretty good thing.

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger sloth said...

rrrrrrh. Blogger is really chapping my bum today. Frustration.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger sloth said...

krixy, you got a nice mention from Edna on her blog...

I am going now, I swear.

 
At 3:11 PM, Anonymous pd said...

Yes, Krix you are right. I guess I was just pointing out how awful his writing can be. It is very frustrating not to be able to respond.

 
At 3:57 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

I gotcha PD. The creepy anonymous was a creep I am thinking.

And cheers to Edna! Her blog rocks and so does she.

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger Corny said...

I just went to Ednas blog and caught up on the drama... WOAH!, I can't believe what a giagantic prick Walter has turned into. And what the bloodyhell is this suposed to mean, (walters quote)"I don't think Charlie is mysogynistic, except to the extent that all of us are, with fairly good reason."

I'm so confused, is this a joke?

I used to work with artnet, W.R. was a good guy when he was starting there, w'happened?

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger Corny said...

fuck artnet. Time to tune in elsewhere.

 
At 7:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! »

 

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