Saturday, February 11, 2006

touch my monkey



So, the other night, the Tee Vee was on in Log, and there was a show on PBS called Human Body Shop; it was about the latest scientific developments in body-integrated prosthetics. The last segment was about an experiment a few years ago where a monkey had a sensor implanted in its brain; the neuro synapses were transferred to a robotic arm (the arm was not attached in any way to the monkey), and the monkey learned how to control the arm with ONLY ITS MIND. It could do things like make the arm pick up a banana just by thinking about it. Also incredibly, it was completely wireless. I had read about the experiment earlier, but seeing it on the teevs was totally mindblowing.

After pondering this wonderful new technology, I have a few thoughts about it:

1. I WANT ONE. Meaning the psychokinetic chip thingy.

2. They chose the cutest possible monkey for this experiment.
I want one of those, too, preferably with a brain chip so we can communicate telepathically.

3. One day we will not need bodies at all; we'll just be brains in jars like on the Star Trek episode "Spock's Brain." I also want a Pain Belt like they had on that episode.

That is all.

28 Comments:

At 6:13 PM, Blogger sloth said...

I want to administer the pains.

 
At 8:14 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

Slothy, will you get a robotic spanking arm?

I want an arm that will turn on the tee vee. oh wait. That's called remote control.

 
At 1:56 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Krix, YES to the spanking arm! Then I can practice psychokinetic gladhanding.

The Pain Belt: remember in Star Trek how they would push the button on the belt and the torture recipient would grab his head and writhe around?

Also: I want my flying car. They have been promising flying cars for years now. Where are they???

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger sloth said...

It's um, snowing.

 
At 10:59 AM, Anonymous krixfort said...

still snowing.

 
At 11:12 AM, Anonymous Mountain Man said...

Hi, we are trying to get back home in all the snow! Our flight was cancelled but we managed to get on a Jet Blue flight. BUt I here tell that there are no cars driving on streets...I heard of subway problems too. Huh. We want to come home!!! I want a pain belt too, by the way.

Hi and bye.

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger sloth said...

yup.

 
At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Mountain Man said...

darnitall. jfk is closed til 3 pm. we are stuck in the airport for the next while. at least i can get my lifeline internet connection.

krix and sloth, i miss you.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Hi MM! There is like 2 feet of snow here... stay there.

Airports are all closed here, but maybe they will reopen this afternoon, when the snow stops? Still there will be backed-up flights I am sure. Subways are still running as far as I know...

Hope you 2 get home okay!

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger The Capt'n said...

Sloth, I will refer Sea Monkey to your post imediately. You have much to talk about.

 
At 11:46 AM, Anonymous Mountain Man said...

I wish I had seen this teevee show. I am wondering if there is a possibility I might become horns and hair with a bit of sparkle, instead of a body. With spankers coming out of horns when needed to enforce the sore bum rule.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger sloth said...

capt'n, I can see it now: Owl Monkey and Sea Monkey, gazing at each other thru the surface of the water... maybe they touch fingers like in E.T. ...

 
At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Mountain Man said...

I smell an FB painting....

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger sloth said...

know what? I love a blizzard. LOVE.

I am sorry it is messing up MM's travel experience!!!!

But deep snow in NYC ROCKS! Keeps the streets quiet, only the intrepid peeps are outside, making survival grocery runs, or floundering thru deep drifts in search of a nice mimosa. Wish I had cross-country skis.

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger mountain man said...

I hate missing a blizzard, I totally agree, they transform the city into quiet and calm. It's magicful.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger sloth said...

I would like to first administer the pain belt to whoever flagged regi's really harmless blog as "offensive," thereby forcing him to submit to the blogger review board process and subjecting him to all kinds of probing and stupid stuff intended to bust kiddie porn sites.

I mean, gimme a break!!!!!!

 
At 2:42 PM, Anonymous pd said...

WOW! I am missing all the snow! And I am missing my ether friends. I got two more days of sun.

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger sloth said...

wooo hooo! PD! Bask and baste Peeds.

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger Corny said...

Hi Slothy, hope you're having a swell snow day!
Everything looks so awsome covered with white. There's a van parked outside our house that has so much snow piled up on it, it looks like a double decker. I'm going to investigate whats involved with a Hot Toddy.

 
At 5:41 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

I am still in my PJs. It is 6pm. Time to crawl back into bed. looks like the snows have stopped in JC.

 
At 11:43 PM, Blogger sloth said...

yay Krix! That has been my m.o. all week... A high-pressure at-home freelance gig gave me the excuse to not deal with life.

Also, here are some sample lunch menus from last week:

Tuesday: Toasted english muffin w/ stale peanut butter & maple syrup.

Wednesday: same

Friday: 3 cookies

 
At 12:15 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Hi Corny,
Hot toddly = yum!
I walked around taking pictures today. The snow made me happy as a pup.
Did you know it broke the NYC record?
Of course, I didn't have to shovel it or drive in it...

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

arthur did some major digging yesterday - front walk and back yard patio where the drain is. the drain must be free to receive the wets. oh the snow. it was lovely looking out my window and not being able to see the 5 parked and not-running cars, the old washing machine on a handtruck and the pit- earthwork. all the piles were covered. even the rat's HQ looked pretty good.

back on topic. love the pain belt. i would also like to master the vulcan death grip and mind meld. and those monkeys. they will never have to wear the pain belt.

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger sloth said...

FB, that must be a relief. Here is a warm-weather strategy: you could get a truckload of those little tiny styrofoam pellets & blow them out a big hose onto the piles, creating a snowdrift-like effect. an added advantage: you would always have packing material on hand!

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger sloth said...

the vulcan death grip is so convincing. I really feel that if I pinch someone in the right spot on their shoulder they will collapse in a heap.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Hmmmm. Just finished the stupid freelance job.

Shack or pain arena... shack or pain arena...?

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

hmmm. i think SHACK.

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger sloth said...

yeah, I guess I knew that.

okay, pot-belly, you are safe for now...

 

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