Sunday, February 05, 2006

manimal

The Shrub's recent State of the Union Address was otherwise flaccid, but of special concern and alarm to Logworld was his closed-minded call to pass legislation banning human-animal hybrids. In response, we have stepped up production in the LogLab, and are very excited to announce our latest creation:



The name "Triton" was floated, but it turns out that name is taken by another hybrid critter. Still pondering names... suggestions are welcome.

A question for our president: Why this discrimination against the hermaphrodites in our midst? Isn't the platypus a prime example of nature's attempt at species-mixing? What about poor Oliver, the humanzee? Would you throw him is prison for being "different?"

This proposed legislation against species-mixing represents a knee-jerk reaction to fears about "watering down" homo sapiens, and, if passed, would result a further backslide in policy. Remember: manimals are people, too!

20 Comments:

At 1:40 PM, Blogger mountain man said...

Sloth I am glad you have brought attention to this important matter. I hope that the Shrubs and his ilk will be guided accordingly. Manimals should not be absorbed into the bland Homo Sapiens notion of being, on the contrary, we should all work for heavier cross-pollination and intermixing. This the fortuitous purpose for my own sexing with my donkey. What you have created here is a prime specimen. Let's see here, as for names:

Chief Tiger Ponypants
Hybrid Internal/External Litigation Warrior
Annointed Musculator Fur Matrix

See I am not very good at this, my names are too long. But I love your ideas, Slothy, never once has my admiration for you and your brain-stretching posts waned in any way. I am in constant awe of your new-fangled creations. Yay for Logworld. You are my ether bosom darling for ever and ever.

XX
MM (president of Sloth's fan club)

 
At 8:10 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Chief Tiger Ponypants!!! MM, you nailed it. LOVE.

 
At 9:23 PM, Anonymous pd said...

Is this the Siberian Ugg Master? Or is it just Fabio's comeback?
I know our dear president will soon do away with all animals...except his ranch horsies.

 
At 11:03 PM, Anonymous fabio third said...

You would NOT BELIEVE the painful waxing process required to look this good.

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger sloth said...

News porno: the face transplant lady gave a press conference today; she looks pretty good, considering, but somebody call in a stylist! Her hair needs serious help. I mean, she IS a celebrity now, and she went to all the trouble of getting an actual face transplant...

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger Corny said...

Hi Slothy.
Thank you for your thought provoking post. It's hard coming to my computer first thing in the morning, knowing I'll be sideswipped by your brilliance, laughing so much i bleed.

I've given some thought to what to name this manimal:

Mr.Medleasaurus
Tommy Terrorist
Master James Jumblewad

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Corny said...

Did face transplant lady (can we call her Lady Face?) sleep with an oxygen mask over her mough area? You know how the area around your mouth gets all sweaty and turns a lighter color when you keep your oxygen mask on too long?

Shit, the footballgame made me dumb as a rock. Sorry.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger sloth said...

g'morning, Corny! Football hangover is all the rage today, but I must disagree: no rock I know could come up with "Master James Jumblewad," which employs brilliant alliteration & is stiff competition for MM's "Chief Tiger Ponypants."

Poor Lady Face had her lower face bitten off by her mischeivous dog while she was in a barbituate-induced stupor. When she woke up she lit a cigarette & couldn't understand why it kept falling out of her mouth...

What does it say about me that I find this kind of funny?

I feel dirty now.

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger Corny said...

Oh yeah, I remember this story the dog got hungry and helped himself while she was napping. She's a good sleeper slothy.

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger Corny said...

I read thru the grapevine that you weren't feeling so top of the pops, hopping your ok today.

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger sloth said...

thanks corny, it's just some kind of respiratory infection thing, which wouldn't be so bad except it features vertigo, which SUCKS ASS.

i'm going to take a bath in my giant bathtub now. It's an old tub and kind of a wreck, but it is huge and the water covers all of me bits. Log is basically a bathtub with an apartment attached.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Corny said...

"What does it say about me that I find this kind of funny?"


-That you are sensitive, Compassionate and sympathetic and have used up many Karma CouponĀ® on this one.

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger Corny said...

Sounds like your infection went up into the ear where the vertigo is. Please drink alot of fluids and rest. Bye slothy, have a good soke or soak.

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

"Poor Lady Face had her lower face bitten off by her mischeivous dog while she was in a barbituate-induced stupor. When she woke up she lit a cigarette & couldn't understand why it kept falling out of her mouth...

What does it say about me that I find this kind of funny?"

kind of funny? TOTALLY FUNNY. Reasons to keep on living.

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Thank you, FB; conscience eased. I worry about myself sometimes.

Corny, I would like to order a gross of Karma CouponsĀ®. Do they come in a fat book, like the Entertainment Coupons? Are they transferrable? I want to do some damage.

 
At 4:40 PM, Anonymous pd said...

Slothy! How you feelin'? I hope you are swell and firmly grounded.

 
At 5:35 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Hi PD! **yawn** just woke up from a nap, yum. Feeling okay; it's best if I don't make any sudden moves.

 
At 5:48 PM, Blogger sloth said...

p.s. I was thinking about putting something really ridiculous in the trash & then photographing it for garbagescout.com ... but that would be cheating, I guess.

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

Oh that would be funny. I thought it would be funny to do that, and then post the same exact item in various locations.

I am glad you are a little better at least.

 
At 7:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info »

 

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