Friday, December 22, 2006

sugarplum


We yearn to synchronize flesh and tulle... the desire to cavort in the fluff is strong during the dark months. Frigid conditions cause the formation of icicles in the grey tissues, leading to acts both giddy and licentious. This "rainy season" business has produced an unnatural algae buildup.

22 Comments:

At 12:31 AM, Blogger sloth said...

I will belly-buck ANYONE, right here, right now. I throw down the three-toed gauntlet.

 
At 5:32 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

Are those guys your uncles Sloth?

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Hi, Krixy! No, they are my aunties. my very sweet and loyal guardian aunties... no one should mess with them.

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger The Capt'n said...

Boo-yah!

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger The Capt'n said...

You know, Slothy, some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.

 
At 11:14 PM, Blogger ADHoc said...

"Chestnuts shrinking in a frozen field . . . "

 
At 12:49 AM, Blogger sloth said...

"... noodles shooting out my nose..."

 
At 12:49 AM, Anonymous slothy said...

actually capt'n, whistles and pepper spray just shot out of my nose...

 
At 12:52 AM, Anonymous slothy said...

Merry crickets, everyone! xoxoxo

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous jesus christ said...

Happy birthday to me! I am ready, you may present me with gifts now. Love me.

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger sloth said...

JC, how very naughty of you to misrepresent your birthday...! the shepherds' activities suggest it was actually in spring or summer. For misleading humanity like that I will give you a vigorous punch in the box, then I'll get you drunk and have my way with you. Prepare to see the light.

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous jesus christ said...

FYI: My box is triangular in shape, and even though it has never been punched, a good pounding sounds most exhilerating.

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Corny said...

your aunts have nice tittys Sloths. maybe the one with the mustache has had some work done?

 
At 7:43 PM, Anonymous dubz with sore throat said...

happy belated jesus day everyone! i, for one, am glad it's over. what a crock of shit. i wish jesus had been fat guy in a tutu, i'd be into that. uh... hi slothy!!

 
At 9:33 PM, Anonymous slothy said...

Dear Jesus of Copperopolis,

You must get very sick of people asking you for favors. Anywho, here are my requests: Please to cure Dubzy's sore throat, and help FB shake the side effects of Iowa. Also please help to guide the sloth through the next 2 days of family "togetherness" and then use your giant jesus-hand to keep me from slamming into a tree when participating in the winter sports. Thank you.

From, your best friend, slothy.

p.s. I saw on my site meterâ„¢ that you are from Copperopolis, CA. Do you like Copperopolis? I imagine it's just like Oz but made out of copper.

p.p.s. if you fail to grant my simple wishes, I will send the aunties after your ass. I know where you live, fucker! Merry Christmas.

 
At 10:06 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Hi Dubzy! missed you... I hope Santa christ brought you some really good drugz this year? Remember, the spirit of the season is all about SHARING. (I have a lump of coal you can borry anytime you are running low on fuel..)

 
At 10:44 AM, Anonymous krixfort said...

Hi Slothy and Dubz and Corny and everyone. Sloth you are right about the sharing. I have been sharing my feelings this holiday. Sharing them indiscriminately in the form of many types of hand gestures. I am really only expressing my love but I am afraid some people are getting the wrong impression.

 
At 10:51 AM, Anonymous peeds said...

Hi Slothers! Hi! Onward, Corny and Dubzy and Krixy and Capt'n. And the adorable Adhoc! Hello. I am back after the stomach flu interfered with my xmas gluttony plans.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

hi sloths and everyone! are you back yet sloth?

 
At 11:55 AM, Anonymous slothy said...

Hi FB! we are climbing into a giant trebuchet at this very moment, in preparation for blastoff to the arctic circle. We hope to get there before the glaciers melt...

 
At 2:29 PM, Anonymous lupis said...

hi Slothy, WW, i miss you guys! I shaved my back for the holidays, thought about sex and took a really good crap.

 
At 12:47 AM, Blogger sloth said...

lupis! a really good crap = truly good luck for the new year. cheers!

 

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