Monday, September 19, 2005

pat's perfect america



Corny inspired Sloth to post this symbolic picture of the USA according to Pat Robertson. In Pat's Perfect America, everyone is pale! and hetero! and they have money, meaning they are good people. They have no tattoos (though Mom might have pierced ears... !). They are good christians, and they spread His Blessed Word to those few sorry heathens left on the planet. They will be first in line at the pearlescent gates of heaven. They taste like marshmallow fluff. Their thoughts are clean and snow-white, and they pray very, very often for your sorry-ass soul. They have already crushed the evil ones beneath their pink feet, and have used the pulp for fertilizing a garden full of pretty flowers. The flowers are red, white, and blue, to match the "Support Our Troops" magnet on the back of their Escalade.

12 Comments:

At 7:13 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

He is so gross. I grew up with Pat Robertson on the tv and James Dobson on the radio every morning during carpool to Christian school. I will never forget when my mother listened to a particularly embarassing segment of Focus on the Family on the first day of car pool. It was about menopause and christ. PLEASE!!!!!

Pat Robertson and James Dobson should pray for each other's souls. I think Jesus would throw them out of the temple with the rest of the pharisees. Leave Ellen alone!

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger Corny said...

Eew, They're NUDE!!! Thats so Disgusting. Geez slothy, your pornographic blog is freaking me out.

 
At 11:59 PM, Blogger sloth said...

oh Hammy! that sounds like torturous therapy-fodder. there oughta be a class-action suit!

 
At 12:02 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Corny, thank you for bringing to light a big mistake - oops. Of course they would be chastely clothed! Duh. Or if not, they would have smooth plastic mounds instead of sex characteristics... like Barbie & Ken.

 
At 12:06 AM, Blogger sloth said...

p.s. Mr. Fluff has a very sad-looking chest. He needs to take some steroids. I will make him a steroid sandwich with Wonder bread and Goober Grape.

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

goober grape. who buys that??!

A & I have a weird thing going on where we watch the 700 club for about 5-10 minutes a night - mostly during commercials for Daily Show or some such just to get in touch with the enemy. It is crazy. Really really crazy. When Pat R prays I always think of him on the toilet.

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

I especially love the testimonials that come in. There was one that still kills me. It was a late-middle aged couple in Atlanta area and the guy lost his job. They ran out of money - apparently it never crossed anyone's mind that the home-maker wife could possibly go out and work. So the man gets a job at walmart and they are just struggling so in there 3 bedroom suburban home. it's just awful. but they decide that even though times are thin they will continue to give money and more money to the 700 club donation line or whatever because you have to give you money to make money. and guess what! the man finally got another job.

the whole segment just infuriated me. that idea that if you are horribly poor you should give tons of money to the 700 club because then jesus will take care of you. of course it is always good to give if you can but come on! it's such a scam.

 
At 2:42 PM, Anonymous cassy said...

Dear lord, I just..I just want to thank you lord, for killing off my parents and leaving me empty and lonely for the rest of my life. Thank you Jesus for taking away the people I love most. this must be a lesson to me Lord, because it was your will and you have the power and the glory forever, Amen.

 
At 4:42 PM, Anonymous JC said...

Oh, you're welcome! Just a little "thank you" for NOT sending a glorious contribution to my friend Pat.

 
At 5:00 PM, Anonymous pd said...

Did Pat Robertson really say those things recently about the disaster/Ellen connection? I thought they were so outlandish...even by his standards!

 
At 6:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY!
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At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... »

 

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