Thursday, February 23, 2006

my little hallucination

This is the story of a momentary and disorienting apparition. We are enjoying a dinner of delicious pizza at Patsy's. It's kind of dark in there. At a nearby table sit a man and a woman with their little... little... what? WHAT is THAT? The hand is moving, grabbing for pizza, but the face! Giant, oversized eyes float on a small, distorted head. There are bizarre, wide-set nostrils and... horns? I stare in wonder. It is a mutant of unimaginable... Wait -- no. It's just a kid with her large fleshy pony-doll blocking the view of her actual, normal face.

This is what I saw:


Did I mention that it was dark? No, I was not drunk. Not really.

The doll was a "My Little Pony." It comes with a diaper. While most toy animals are plush, to make them appear furry and mamalian, My Little Pony has waxy, smooth skin, to make it seem more human.

Thank you, Little Pony, for that brief moment of absolute belief in big-eyed mutants.

P.S. Here is the thalidomide, fetal version, as promised:

12 Comments:

At 6:58 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Yes I am nuts.

 
At 7:13 PM, Anonymous Thumbody said...

Thloth, Your nuths alright. why is the head of the fetal pony on backwardths?
Did you break iths little neck while hugging it too hard?

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger mountain man said...

Oh dear. Sounds like a psychotic break perhaps induced by lactose? Even imaginary pony-children are the illest brand of mutant, I am glad you emerged unscathed from this encounter. Pats.

 
At 8:17 PM, Blogger Corny said...

schizophrenic to be more precise.


I have many thoughts and feelings about this whole incident with you being in a dark pizzaria ogling children's toys and constructing vivid kingdoms of fiction around them. First of all: the flesh pony tail is so HOT I barely know what to do with that. Maybe it would help if you would clarify. Does the flesh ponytail have a muscle or is it like fat in there?
I need to know if i can slap people across the face with it or use it as a kind of third hand.

 
At 8:22 PM, Anonymous Horny Beast said...

You can use anything to slap with, fat, muscle, sickness, anything.

 
At 8:32 PM, Anonymous Jodi said...

I love the ponies of ruin.

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger sloth said...

note the pink fingernail polish on the little ineffectual flippers... a heartbreaking attempt at normalcy.

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Corny, the flesh tail curls and uncurls in a spastic motion; this is how the fetal pony moves around the room. It resembles a sad little curly party horn.

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger Regi said...

no delusion
Mutant children ARE among us

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

i am most disturbed by the diaper element. does it poop out tiny rainbows, glittery stars, hard rocks of coal? when it is done pooping can you stick them back in and play again?

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

or is one of those 'feed it some weird gruel and it shits out the weird gruel?'

 
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