Saturday, April 22, 2006

department of want



TANK CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Watch for Slothy charging up 7th Avenue in a brand new "battle bot..."

65 Comments:

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Corny said...

It looks perfect for moeing down slow walkers. I likes it, the bumper sticker should read "my other car is a Segway"

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Corny said...

A darth vader style helmet would complement the battel bot nicely.

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Corny, YES to darth vader helmet! Your accessorizing instincts are spot-on as usual. The 'bot definitely needs some interfering with; currently the only decoration is the choad-mash in between the treads...

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger JD said...

Oh Sloth, I want one. Just imagine the sense of murderous power! And Corny is right: this is perfect for squishing slow-moving tourists in midtown, and if they're walking 3 or 4 abreast, so much the better.

Um, what does "choad" mean? I am hopelessly clueless.

 
At 9:01 PM, Blogger The Capt'n said...

FUK YEAH!!!
You can ride this out at the beach when you guys start Team Jersey/The Rain Bonnets/fill in the blank.

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger sloth said...

JD, here is one take on the word "choad."

and here is a visual example, although there are many varieties, from all walks of life.

 
At 10:46 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Capt'n, you give me a vision: the van doors fly open and a parade of TANK CHAIRS rumble out of the bay, Team Jersey, or the Rain Bonnets, or Nor'f*kneasters, surfboards in hand, prepared to krush all who stand in our way!!!

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger JD said...

Sloth, thanks. I feel edified. And somehow the visual reference made it really click for me in a way that the written definition couldn't. Now I can't help ruminating on all of the choads I've ever known. I've never been good friends with a choad, but I've met TONS of them. Mostly in grad school, but I think Williamsburg is rife with them.

I just had a dinner party for my various friends with kids. It was utter chaos. We started at 5:00, and various crises arose: a mild allergic reaction to my cat which required going to the CVS to get an inhaler, a bumped head, and a toddler who hated being inside the apartment, but enjoyed running wild in the hallway of my building. I think I had fun, in some kind of way, but. . . here's my question: are parents today ethically against babysitters? I love hanging with kids, but there has to be a place for adult evenings out, no?

 
At 9:25 AM, Blogger deli-slicer said...

I want one too! I need this for my LIC commute AND for the Norf*neaster beach party. I will paint flames on mine and there will be a fanny pack of oxy and Jack.

JD: UGH!! I've stopped inviting the little ones over. It is just too much. By little ones, I am referring to my son and daughter, whom I just can't tolerate anymore in the apartment--you dig?

But seriously, I've noticed parents aren't into the babysitter thing anymore.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger JD said...

PD, I dig. Permanent babysitter, don'cha know.

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger sloth said...

JD! What a stressfest... there oughta be a law against people bringing their kids to dinner at a child-free houselhold. It upsets the balance of nature, not to mention all the small & valuable items that go missing up the kids' noses. Maybe we should lobby Corny, aka Dictator of the World, to institute such a policy globally.

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger JD said...

Sloth, we definitely need some bylaws here, and maybe Corny can get the ball rolling. The other day in the chelsea market (hey, was I with you?) I heard a 3-year-old shrieking SO LOUDLY, and her father did nothing to stop her. Hello, socialize your kids, people!!

 
At 1:43 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

Slothy! This is the perfect vehicle for these end times. a triumph of human ingenuity for lazy angry ones like me. I just want to mow down anyone who's noisy and near. That is wrong, I know...

 
At 8:22 AM, Blogger Regi said...

Im going to use this chair against Blogger! Damn blogger isn't working (monday morn)

children are evil

 
At 9:54 AM, Blogger Regi said...

blogger still broken!!!!!! mad

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger Corny said...

Hi sloths, my furry lil' woodland friend, the rain just cleared up, it's all rainbows here at The Mounds.

regi, I'm mad too.
Blogger won't let me post new post.

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger Corny said...

Regi, I like the middle part and bow tie combo, you pull it off without looking the least bit nerdish

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger The Capt'n said...

I always thought of choad as meaning the area between the anus and either cunt or balls, and completely assenine, entitled, clueless, arrogant, gross white guy. Although Bush is the ultimate Uberchoad, there are also many other types of choad. The sports fan type, the Archie Bunker type, the frat boy, the smirky choad of academia or art honkey of Williamsburg, who both hilariously think they're better than the working class choads. Not all choads have ape drapes (mullets,) but almost everybody with an ape drape is a choad, unless they're a cute lil' 20-something art/music kid with that high sense of irony that the kids of today all seem to posess.

 
At 1:29 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

JD, I confess, I only have tolerance for my sister's kids, the mixforts.

 
At 1:34 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

Capt'n, I am in accordance with you on the use of choad. I did not know it had meanings other than the ones which you so eloquently outlined.

 
At 1:53 PM, Blogger deli-slicer said...

Blogger is fouling like a bugger today. I tried to post something, and then it said there was an error so I said F*&*% it and then it magically appeared two hours later.

Capt'n!

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Capt'n, thanks for the enlightening choad contribution; most edutaining! I have learned so much at your shapely and muscular knee these last few days.

I always knew that area between anus and genitalia as the "taint," but it's good to be armed with multiple terms in order to avoid repetition.

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Hullo corns, I always knew there would be a mound at the end of the rainbow... and may the paint flow off your brush today in a rainbow-colored trail with zaps. Which is Spaz spelled backwards, btw.

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Regi said...

blogger slowly working again

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger sloth said...

another choad.

 
At 8:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

genius link

 
At 11:52 PM, Blogger JD said...

Capt'n, I now understand Choadness in the very marrow of my bones. Thank you. And Sloth, that latest choad is exactly the kind of guy I'm secretly attracted to. Do you by any chance have his number?

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger Regi said...

Sloth, I try and try to find the best photos ever, but I cannot do it as good as you. You've always made me feel stupid! My sister used to get back at me by sitting on my face and farting. I offer my face to you.

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

ok. i get choad and chud really confused, kind of blending them together somehow. the choad in my mind is an underground dweller of limited mental function that looks like a fish-penis-man thing with beady eyes. lives in garage, sewer, basement, with rats, NOT down under the slabs though.

Or choad = chump americans in sweatpant and senor frog's oversized tee eating giant bag of pirate booty at airport.

 
At 4:34 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

that cancun airport is the worst FB. after you've been off in seclusion in the jungles and on the beaches, to come back to all the weekenders from Dallas with their sunburns, cornrow braids, and bags of duty free is too much.

I ate the worm YEEEE-HAWWWWW!

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

the degree of hate was so strong at the airport. very fierce. why are americans such fat bastard chumps? it is so depressing. senor toads. i went all the way to cancun to party hardy at fucking senor toads. they deserve the gas.

 
At 4:47 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

someone please put me out of my misery

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger sloth said...

oh, FB! so soon the post-vacation dreaminess has worn off?

I prescribe an oxy-tini stat.

 
At 5:02 PM, Anonymous pd said...

Uh, I have this automatic device that notifies me whenever oxy is mentioned. Will gladly help out if needed.

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger sloth said...

pd sorry, didn't mean to steal yr thunder, but y'know what they say about imitation...

does your alarm go off when someone -- say, me -- is THINKING about oxy? 'cuz in that case it must go off every day at around 3 p.m....

 
At 5:09 PM, Anonymous pd said...

Oh I wasn't suggesting you were stealing anything. My alarm is all about business--you know what I mean? In case I have to meet someone in the park with the goods.
It is not advanced enough to read a mind as creative and complex as yours, Sloth.

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger sloth said...

pd... BAAAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAA! (with tears of mirth)

 
At 5:19 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

i think i am sick from my vacation. how sad is that? tired out from vacation. but it's true.

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger sloth said...

a common affliction, FB... you are experiencing re-entry syndrome, in which your usual guard has been let down & the tender underbelly of your psyche is exposed to the harmful rays of urban life. It's a temporary state; you will rebuild your tough NYC carcass soon enuf.

 
At 5:26 PM, Anonymous pd said...

I know what that's like FB. All vacations should be followed by vacations. Days of just sleeping and stuff.

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger mountain man said...

hi sloth. you are a wise one.

 
At 10:21 AM, Blogger burrito brother said...

I have a Rhino's carcass.
And alligator's tears.



:.(

 
At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Mountain Man said...

Jeez BB that sounds bad. I hope you will survive this traumatic state.

Sloth, I am anxiously awaiting your response to a tempestuous proposal on my blog. It is too much for me, this waiting. I am in need of fellowship.

Love,

MM

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger sloth said...

burrito brother, your carcass will see you through, believe me. There'll be times when the inner pulp shrinks away from the outside shell, which will act as a bunker against the elements. Collect those crocodile tears & toss them on the sauna rocks, dear bb... they'll keep you warm and humidified in the end.

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger burrito brother said...

8..)

Tears of joy behind Chanel wraparound sunglasses.

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger sloth said...

lol bb, you are making for the sloth-snorts.

 
At 11:38 AM, Blogger burrito brother said...

thanks Slothy, don't miss the 10pm show (it's blue.)
here's my sloth on Oxy portrait:


*__ :
* :

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger burrito brother said...

shit! wait a minute wait a minute:

*__ :
* :

or

*__ :
* :

eh you get the idea

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger burrito brother said...

: - J


this is you being smug over that last post not working.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger sloth said...

oh bb, can you do a sloth turning blue and expiring from laughter? tongue lolling out, eyes bulging?

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger burrito brother said...

hmmm...


' - !
'

that's the best i can do. whew! it's not so hard not working, but keeping other people from working is a lot of work! My starbuck's is starting to wear off now... enter lethargy... spazzy duck... turning... to... retarted... choad... argh!

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger deli-slicer said...

Oxy? Does someone need some?

 
At 3:43 PM, Blogger sloth said...

bb, this guy could use a lesson from you.

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger burrito brother said...

nice!
You always seem to dig up such lovely inter-nuggets, sloth. I think this guy is buddies with 'Chick Magnet'...

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Corny said...

%
___ ∫
)

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Corny said...

it's very cocteau, no?

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger Corny said...

/
/ _____=
/ (
/ o



(hitler)

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger Corny said...

woah...that got scrambled in translation

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger Corny said...

sorry for crudding up your blog comments

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger sloth said...

aw corny, I love your hitler, he's very cubist!

Logworld has found new life as a sketchpad.

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Corny said...

∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏
πππππππππ
ˆ¬¬¬¬ll
ø ø

¬

––––––

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger Corny said...

Bob Hope... but again , lost in translation

 
At 12:56 AM, Blogger Marco Antonio said...

Steven Hawking's secret weopon to compliment his brain.

 
At 8:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice site!
» » »

 
At 8:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! » » »

 

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