Thursday, March 30, 2006

p'nuttles



Slothy is so melancholy because there is NO interwebs access at the shack, and as already determined a true-enough addict, she's-like-heroin-to-me, the blogosphere calls a siren-song ever beckoning to the pointy rocks. Master technician Mr. P'Nuttles was even called in to establish some kind of shackwire, but the chokeweed and virginia creeper have snuffed all but the most crackly and fragile thread of a phone connexion with the outside world. This sorry situation results in distracted and sporadic moves in the shack, with bouts of wild hand-wringing and fetal-position napping.

(I wasn't going to tell you this, but when P'Nuttles confessed failure, I tried to murder him. He isn't quite dead, but in need of some serious tech support: flashing wrenches in his eyes.)

31 Comments:

At 1:31 AM, Blogger sloth said...

HFP says it's all for the best, & I should "get a grip."

 
At 2:51 AM, Blogger The Capt'n said...

"Getting a grip" is way overrated, Sloth.

 
At 8:34 AM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

P'Nuttles!! Oh no. Sloth, he tried to install windows xp on my computer and I ended up with the latest edition of DOOM.

 
At 8:35 AM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

I am addicted too, but if I had it in the shack I would be in so much trouble. I would need an intervention.

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger Corny said...

P'nuttles looks like a
whole-lota-man, give him time, he'll get it worked out. He's serious about his work, he wears adult dipers so he doesn't have to take those distracting potty breaks. Oh, wait, you tried to kill him and left him a pulverized heap. Nevermind.

I hates to say it, but I agree, it might be for the best.

Still it was good you took your rage out on p'nuttles.

 
At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Roaring mantis grip said...

yes, wise Capt'n son, grip in some cases overrated

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Update: P'nuttles is semi-conscious, but I have tied him up and am stacking pieces of my former computer in towers on top of him. Still-life, don'tcha know.

 
At 9:45 AM, Anonymous pd said...

You must hide the huge pile of evidence that is P'Nuttles. Pulverize him into Nuttle Butter and frost cookies with it.

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

Sloth, be careful with p'nuttles. he might have knives hidden among the folds and don't be tempted by the bologna sandwiches in there. no sloth, they are sure to be fouled and poisonous. be careful.

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

p'nuttles looks cuddly, maybe too slippery and slimy, but cuddly none the less.

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

he would fill out a pair of the lavendar sweats nicely though.

UGH. what am i going to wear to the blog convention? i am thinking something Gheri Blankish. Will i need to shop?? is this important?

 
At 5:25 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

Sloth,
I hate to say this but I actually interviewed with P'nuttles a couple years back when my unemployement was running out. He worked at The Porn Hole where he needed photoshop help.

There were too many boxes of Kleenex in the dimly lit office for my liking. It was somewhere around 22nd Street, near Olive Garden.

 
At 5:26 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

sloth, Cap'n is right. Grips are for kids.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger bradleyrubenstein said...

anyone who can use a jeffrey lee pierce lyric in a complete sentence qualifies as a genius in my book.

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger sloth said...

well, it was SORT of a complete sentence...

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

Slothness, I hope this day finds you swell!

hearts,
PD

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger sloth said...

hi Peeds, eye am feelin kinda dreamy today. nice. can't wait to see you tomorry.

 
At 12:30 PM, Anonymous peeds said...

Same here. I am getting ready already.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger sloth said...

those fantastic moustachios look like they take lots of preparation & waxing & sharpening and such. Maybe you should make 'em point straight out in front like 2 spears. that would look rad.

 
At 12:49 PM, Anonymous peeds said...

Right now they are pointed at the tips and angling right up my nostrils.

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger Regi said...

Im still a little "something" with MM. No thanks for the baby-man thing. Not for my personal life but maybe for a theatrical one... still thinking and grumbling and dreaming up a routine...

The penis head wig is for a performance idea where I sit on a park bench and two women of Stepford make jokes, become intrigued about my hair then wildly abandon their Stepford ways. But I guess MM would rather see me humilated then play the straight man and let the female performers be the comedic focus.

Sloth, None of us is as important as your passion. We'll all be here If you take a break from the internets thing.

and Brad, when are you going to post something on your blog?

 
At 8:48 PM, Anonymous MM said...

My wish was not to see you humiliated Regi. I thought it was a shock that you might enjoy. You are very sensitive...apologies.

 
At 11:09 PM, Blogger sloth said...

MM, not to worry; Regi is considering the theatrical possibilities of the manbaby. Manbaby is ripe for the taking, the exploiting.

Regi, your penis-wig idea channels the very soul of Monty Python, and is therefore sublime.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

Hi Sloth. Have you gotten your interwebs back? Hope so. I am looking forward to viewing you later.

 
At 9:21 AM, Anonymous pd said...

Like this, Regi?: http://www.crushkill.com/archives/penishat.jpg

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

Good find PD.

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger sloth said...

YES.....! I am going to wear this hat to the party, but also add the shit hat on top for maximum effect.

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger postmoderndebunker said...

yes sloth, that is a killer combo.

 
At 12:29 PM, Anonymous Regi said...

PD, I knew I could count on you to find the finest "fine art implement" in the land. Even I, Reginald Primrose, would envy this treasure from the habberdashery. I shall impress my Masonic brothers with it. They shall grope me to my delight. Splendid choice PD, for this I shall take double your selection of the finest meats.

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger mountain man said...

Oh Jeezus only 4 hours and 50 minutes left. Still so much to prepare. Sloth I am making you a crown out of salami.

 
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