Wednesday, July 05, 2006

somebody slap me





I am a slug today. Here are some reasons why:

1. That last road trip beat it outta me
2. Shit weather
3. Been shirking the gym
4. Too much alcohol and caffeine
5. Sleep apnea?
6. Weird dreams
7. Possible brain damage from years of abuse
8. Lazy
9. In denial about variety of life issues, easier to wrap soft cotton batting around brain & not-deal
10. who needs a reason, really?

35 Comments:

At 6:19 PM, Blogger sloth said...

speaking of slugs, PD, I am in good company.

 
At 8:08 PM, Blogger JD said...

Let's have a slap-fest. We can smack each other until we either cry or shape up.

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger bradleyrubenstein said...

Knock Knock (as promised):

Q:
Knock Knock.

A: Who's there?

Q: Nobody.

A: Nobody who?

Q: Nobody CALLED. They were wrapped in cotton and runover ratpelts.

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger bradleyrubenstein said...

Look forward to Next Week! Yo Mama Jokes!!

 
At 11:51 PM, Anonymous peeds said...

My poor sluggy sloth. I have got a cotton turban for you here. 8,000 thread count to cushion your brain.

 
At 12:38 AM, Blogger sloth said...

pd, did you see? MacFarland is a slug, too.

8K thread count is like titanium, peeds! It will double as the ultimate tard helmet.

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger sloth said...

JD! I LOVE the slap-fest idea. We could have a circle-slap. I really think it's what I need right now. Could you slap me with a raw fish? say, a mackerel. No, a flounder... mackerels are for pussies.

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger sloth said...

bradley, this humor of yours is very sidesplitting, but I CALLED YOU, remember? tonight? earlier? The cell phone is pinned to my face underneath all the cotton and ratpelts, antenna sticking out the top. I look kinda like a Q-tip with a splinter. And please do be forthcoming with the Yo Mama jokes. You can never have too many.

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger sloth said...

oh yeah,

11. nocturnal cat attacks
12. high ozone levels

 
At 7:38 AM, Anonymous pd said...

MacFarland!!!! Dude!! So cool. We always knew he was a slug--am illiterate one at that.

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

Hi Sloths. It is better not to deal. Just don't deal and keep drinking! I am sure that advice makes sense to me because I have brain damage too. Plus I am borderline retarded, no offense to retards. I hope you get some sleep soon cutie.

 
At 11:15 AM, Anonymous hammy said...

slothy, I am same. Everything hurts. Especially my mental head. MM, I join you in retardation.

 
At 1:34 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Hammy, lets get conjoined, like those twin operations but in reverse? I would like to share brains with you.

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger sloth said...

mm, I sincerely hope there will be very, very toxic substances at camp runamok. I am hell-bent on irreversible psychotropic brain-mangling. Can we lick frogs? I have a recipe for frogs reduction... possible to freebase? Or inject directly into frontal lobe.

 
At 3:58 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

That is a good idea slothy. But we might have to walk sideways all the time. We will be like a permanent U-shape.

 
At 4:28 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Like a tuning fork... I like it, hams. People can hit us with a stick and we'll hum in middle-C.

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Workday emotional checklist update: I have hit "mid-afternoon torpor" at this time. I have started cutting off minor body parts to stay alive.

 
At 4:52 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

I want to be hit! And that sounds like a wonderful chime. ALso stretching is spiritual.

I am also slicing away with my papercuts. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it here. I am going to take a nap in pretend. Please join me in this.

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger sloth said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

 
At 5:34 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

peanut butter and marshmallo sandwiches. caramel corn.

 
At 5:42 PM, Blogger JD said...

Hammy & Sloth, I am so with you in the Hates. Why do people at beige seem to think that what goes on here is of any importance whatsoever? This is what arouses my scorn.

 
At 6:03 PM, Blogger sloth said...

yes, jd. IDIOTS!!!!

hammy, are you dreaming about these treats, or actually eating them? Could you messenger some over to me? A client brought in some popsicles today. Popsicle client. I'll send you some of those.

 
At 7:11 PM, Anonymous bradleyrubenstein said...

Q:
Why did Yo Mama Cross the Road?
A:
To pick up dead a dead Nutria covered in asphalt.
(Lenny Bruce, 1957, NYC)

 
At 7:25 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

I am sending over treats immediately. Also wire cutters to set you both free.

 
At 8:17 PM, Blogger JD said...

Bradley R., you are on fiyuh.

 
At 8:44 PM, Blogger JD said...

Hammy, thanks for the wire cutters! I am now running wildly down Broadway, freed from beige. Some people are after me.

 
At 8:49 PM, Anonymous bambino said...

i am in good mood for pas tfew days. got a bling bling :)

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger sloth said...

NO F"KIN WAAAY, bambino!!!! I gots to see this here bling, pronto! I bet it sparkles best-friend pretty.

 
At 9:41 PM, Blogger sloth said...

p.s. we're talking wrist-bling, yes?

 
At 11:07 AM, Anonymous bambino said...

yes darlinKKK

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Fantastic! that Ed is a real sweetie... but really, how could he resist? You are adorable and need to be adorned. smooches!

 
At 11:58 AM, Anonymous slothy said...

Bambino = worth it

 
At 1:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 10:39 AM, Blogger The Capt'n said...

But you are a cute slug.

 
At 12:35 AM, Anonymous Smoke said...

Drugs are just bad, you should try to use Herbal Alternatives as a temporary replacement to loose the dependance!

 

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