somebody slap me
I am a slug today. Here are some reasons why:
1. That last road trip beat it outta me
2. Shit weather
3. Been shirking the gym
4. Too much alcohol and caffeine
5. Sleep apnea?
6. Weird dreams
7. Possible brain damage from years of abuse
8. Lazy
9. In denial about variety of life issues, easier to wrap soft cotton batting around brain & not-deal
10. who needs a reason, really?
posted by sloth @ 2:01 PM
31 comments
31 Comments:
speaking of slugs, PD, I am in good company.
Let's have a slap-fest. We can smack each other until we either cry or shape up.
My poor sluggy sloth. I have got a cotton turban for you here. 8,000 thread count to cushion your brain.
pd, did you see? MacFarland is a slug, too.
8K thread count is like titanium, peeds! It will double as the ultimate tard helmet.
JD! I LOVE the slap-fest idea. We could have a circle-slap. I really think it's what I need right now. Could you slap me with a raw fish? say, a mackerel. No, a flounder... mackerels are for pussies.
bradley, this humor of yours is very sidesplitting, but I CALLED YOU, remember? tonight? earlier? The cell phone is pinned to my face underneath all the cotton and ratpelts, antenna sticking out the top. I look kinda like a Q-tip with a splinter. And please do be forthcoming with the Yo Mama jokes. You can never have too many.
oh yeah,
11. nocturnal cat attacks
12. high ozone levels
MacFarland!!!! Dude!! So cool. We always knew he was a slug--am illiterate one at that.
Hi Sloths. It is better not to deal. Just don't deal and keep drinking! I am sure that advice makes sense to me because I have brain damage too. Plus I am borderline retarded, no offense to retards. I hope you get some sleep soon cutie.
slothy, I am same. Everything hurts. Especially my mental head. MM, I join you in retardation.
Hammy, lets get conjoined, like those twin operations but in reverse? I would like to share brains with you.
mm, I sincerely hope there will be very, very toxic substances at camp runamok. I am hell-bent on irreversible psychotropic brain-mangling. Can we lick frogs? I have a recipe for frogs reduction... possible to freebase? Or inject directly into frontal lobe.
That is a good idea slothy. But we might have to walk sideways all the time. We will be like a permanent U-shape.
Like a tuning fork... I like it, hams. People can hit us with a stick and we'll hum in middle-C.
Workday emotional checklist update: I have hit "mid-afternoon torpor" at this time. I have started cutting off minor body parts to stay alive.
I want to be hit! And that sounds like a wonderful chime. ALso stretching is spiritual.
I am also slicing away with my papercuts. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it here. I am going to take a nap in pretend. Please join me in this.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........
peanut butter and marshmallo sandwiches. caramel corn.
Hammy & Sloth, I am so with you in the Hates. Why do people at beige seem to think that what goes on here is of any importance whatsoever? This is what arouses my scorn.
yes, jd. IDIOTS!!!!
hammy, are you dreaming about these treats, or actually eating them? Could you messenger some over to me? A client brought in some popsicles today. Popsicle client. I'll send you some of those.
Q:
Why did Yo Mama Cross the Road?
A:
To pick up dead a dead Nutria covered in asphalt.
(Lenny Bruce, 1957, NYC)
I am sending over treats immediately. Also wire cutters to set you both free.
Bradley R., you are on fiyuh.
Hammy, thanks for the wire cutters! I am now running wildly down Broadway, freed from beige. Some people are after me.
i am in good mood for pas tfew days. got a bling bling :)
NO F"KIN WAAAY, bambino!!!! I gots to see this here bling, pronto! I bet it sparkles best-friend pretty.
p.s. we're talking wrist-bling, yes?
yes darlinKKK
Fantastic! that Ed is a real sweetie... but really, how could he resist? You are adorable and need to be adorned. smooches!
Bambino = worth it
But you are a cute slug.
Post a Comment
<< Home