Tuesday, June 28, 2005

pain arena



Slothy is off to the arena of pain this morning. A few days ago, there was a Mangle Orientation Session with one of the arena pro's, a former gym teacher named Bitsy. The other session attendees whispered "Titsy!" to each other. Bitsy is fond of uttering things like "keep those knees up, maggot!" and "no pain, no gain, ya slugs!" and other inspirational sayings. She is a terror. Sloth loves her on some deep level, probably because she is so maternal.

24 Comments:

At 11:45 AM, Blogger fairy butler said...

Keep Bitsy away from the titsies with the ruler chopper, otherwise she seems like a nice lady. My heart is racing just reading this - cardiovascular exercise?? ugh. Please describe the bitsy outfits. I am fascinated with health club professionals.

 
At 2:49 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

she is glamorous looking. I envy.

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Thank you, Krix and FB. The device is not a chopper, but a mangle for the rolling and the squeezing. Normally, Bitsy wears a full rubber bodysuit (flesh-colored), with various kinds of sqash and other objects inside of it. but for the mangle demonstration she must be completely free of encumberments.

She is wearing a wig in this picture; underneath the wig she has little mirrors glued to her head, for a mirror-ball effect. It is too dazzling and distracting for the instruction sessions, though.

 
At 3:04 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

I'll bet the mirror ball is disco-licious. I think I would have to avert my eyes because I would feel false before its radiance.

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger Corny said...

I like her sports bra, it looks like the adjustable scoop-back,natural fibered sports bra of a champion. Can I buy it at Ladies Foot Locker or The Sports Authority?

 
At 9:26 PM, Anonymous hammy said...

hope you feel better soon, sloth. She looks a little like a tyrant. Beware of her chest.

 
At 10:04 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Hammy-Spam, Sloth would like to make a nest in your bodacious hair, perhaps this winter? Is it too early to make a reservation?

 
At 10:50 PM, Blogger sloth said...

Corny, the mangle is a custom-fitted mangle. Bitsy had it designed at "The Town Shop" bra store on B'way at 82nd Street. They will fix you up, but their services can be expensive, especially for those of us with 3 or more teats.

 
At 12:03 AM, Anonymous PD said...

Sloth, I think this Bitsy is sweet. She is also tough to endure such squishing of the titsies. Make sure she isn't fisty, though.

 
At 12:11 AM, Blogger sloth said...

Yes, she does have tough titties. She lost feeling in them years ago, in a sexual-gymnastics accident.

 
At 12:18 AM, Anonymous PD said...

eeks, yes thouse sexual-gymnastic accidents are the worst. She is maternal because she probably lost the ability to have her own kids...from the accident and such...

 
At 12:44 AM, Anonymous Reigert said...

Bitsy, liebling, I have been looking for you everywhere! Ich liebe dich, Susser.

 
At 8:40 AM, Anonymous PD said...

Oh no, Reigart! Not Bitsy too.

 
At 10:10 AM, Anonymous randy said...

It is difficult not to love you Sloth. I might want to push you around.

 
At 10:43 AM, Anonymous Wandee Love said...

Reigert, back off! The bitch is mine.

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

Bitsy has lovely titsies. I would like to handle them with my nail-gloves and leave a trail of hieroglyphics all over them. Bleed Bitsy, bleed.

 
At 11:38 AM, Blogger mountain man said...

I cannot stop staring at her beautiful ample mammary glands.

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger ham paw said...

Sloth, My fluffy head is awaiting your naptime. There is plenty of righteous puff for your nest.

 
At 12:13 PM, Blogger ham paw said...

Still beware, She is a tyrant and her mammaries are dupicitous. I wish for your safety and happiness, Sloth!!!

 
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