Sunday, August 27, 2006

the shitz



I hate the new job willies. Tomorrow is orientation at the Norf*ckeneastern Institution of Paint Squishing (or NIPS), and performance anxiety is nipping at me bum-region. I'll be motoring northward at 7 a.m., Oxicon-tini in paw...

18 Comments:

At 11:43 PM, Anonymous dubzy said...

look here slothy. i know about the shitz, and you have nothing to worry about. just blast em with your brainz and they'll be buttah.

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger sloth said...

hmm, dubz, maybe blast em with shitz... it would be more memorable.

 
At 11:47 PM, Anonymous dubzy said...

shitz'll work too. but maybe not for orientation. save the brown stuff for a couple weeks in, then... splat.

 
At 11:47 PM, Anonymous poo said...

i mean, SPLATTTT!!!!

 
At 11:51 PM, Anonymous dubz said...

for realz, good luck tomorrow slothers. you'll be spectabulous i am sure. kick 'em in the pantz.

 
At 12:26 AM, Anonymous pd said...

Slothalita! You will be fine, just remember--if all else fails, break into a robot move (mechanical drawing). Gets 'em every time. Good lucks darlin'.

 
At 10:17 AM, Blogger Corny said...

By the time you read this you'll have conquered the mongral children of NIPS. Sloths, I woulda been psyched if you had been my teacher when i was a wee-tot. They're lucky.

 
At 3:31 PM, Anonymous krixfort said...

SLOTHERELLA!!!
I'll bet you were marvelous! I KNOW you were.

report back soon.

xoxoxo

 
At 3:42 PM, Anonymous slothy said...

Report from NIPS: there was a pow-wow this a.m. where the staff attempted to communicate with new inmates, who are widely disparate: some amorphous and slack-jawed; some older and more experienced... a few were flat-out nutz.

Ack... WTF am I s'posed to teach these people???

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous slothy said...

The nutz stand out from the rest; they are more demanding of attention. Must not let them siphon time & energy away from the host organism.

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger sloth said...

pee ess, you guys rock my macaca with your words of encouragement. Lurve.

 
At 6:10 PM, Blogger ham paw said...

Good luck to you Slothy! I know you will be great. Poo is natural.

 
At 9:29 PM, Anonymous MM said...

Hams is right what is more natural than poo? Only hate tops poo in naturalness.

How did it go sweet pea? I bet it was easier than you thought. You rule.

 
At 9:56 PM, Blogger JD said...

Sloth, just be totally yourself, and they will love you and learn a ton. You are a smart and wise woman.

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger sloth said...

You are so right hams & MM. I am enjoying a brown smoothie right now, and feelin' one with the world.

JD, thanks! I WAS totally myself, which is to say a neurotic freakout. It was hard to talk with no saliva in my mouth, but I'm hoping it wasn't too obvious.

This is going to be hard, I think. But creaky, rusty old brain cells are slowly starting to crank back to life. I'm pretty sure there are at least 3 or 4 still left in there.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger JD said...

I think a little neurosis and self-doubt are good for the younguns to witness; it makes you more approachable and human, plus it's a more realistic view for them of what it really means to be an artist. It's also more intellectually honest than those arrogant dummies who delude themselves into thinking they know all the answers. Remember them?

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger sloth said...

JD, you are the best. It's been a while since I told you that, and it needs to be said.

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger fairy butler said...

and the arrogant know-it-all old crusties are so transparent! i remember them and all the chumps that would glom on like losers. growls.

Sloth, I am sure you were great and it will only get easier, better, and more fun. Congrats to you!

 

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