Saturday, December 31, 2005

holiday spectacular on ice

You may ask: What force of nature or un-nature would compel a hyena and a sloth to travel northward during the shortest days of the year? Sun spots? Brain damage? Death wish? The answer is simple: loot. The coffers had run low over the course of the last year, so a trip to the Land of Origins had to be made for presenting the burnt offerings in exchange for fuels of various types and sorts. The resulting haul was so bountiful that the little red (as-yet & still nameless) car scraped bottom all the way home, causing a festive plume of sparks, which reflected in the black ice. Fellow travelers beeped their horns in joyful appreciation.

Finally: home at Log, and busy stashing the goods in secret hidey-holes. HFP is making maps so as not to forget the locations in times of need. The maps will be tattooed in reverse on our bums, in order for mirror-legibility.

A new and disturbing phenomenon has developed over the course of travel: Slothy had developed a storage pouch, marsupial-style, probably in response to over-exposure to the fuel sources. It is an evolutionary mutation, a step forward for the sloth species, an adaptation to the northern climes. Fuel will be stored in the pouch for later, when needed. Wandee suggests using it to conceal cleaning supplies or pharmaceuticals. Maybe both. The tattoo of this map will have a dotted line leading from the back bum area to the front, no mirror-reversal necessary.

A final note and wish: Death to 2005! And may the coming year be filled with smiling fortunes for all the blog-buds. Hugs.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

fight club

Martial arts update: the battle is pitched between hijinx & folly! Hijinx has the advantage of body mass, but folly has numbers, and has managed to inflict some serious parasol damage. Odds favor hijinx, 3:1. Bets will remain open as long as at least one participant from each side is left standing.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

irony prediction

The Palm Islands in Dubai were created with huge pumps that ejaculated millions of tons of sand into a palm-treeish shape. The sand was then packed solid; giant vibrators were plunged into the ground for this purpose. The islands are covered with resort hotels and villas.

The first island complex was followed by another, bigger one:

and now a huge, sprawling development called the "World Islands," which are supposed to look like the continents of the world (but they sort of don't):

Here's the Irony Prediction: this whole multi-billion-dollar project was funded with oil revenues. The burning of fossil fuels is responsible for global warming. Eventually the polar ice caps will melt, the oceans will rise, and... guess what will happen to the Dubai Islands? Bye-eeee!

Sunday, December 11, 2005


So many types and varieties of haunch: sinewy, voluptuous, muscular, solid, puddin', and the list goes on and on. In the 'tween fascination with the equine, the haunch plays a central role, the delectable metaphor.