Tuesday, February 28, 2006

time to make the furry donuts

Another schaq-day... today I am trying out this recipe. They're supposed to be really tasty, and you can stick them together like Velcro® and make all kinds of weird edible sculpture. I'm going to construct a big hoop of them, light 'em on fire, and jump thru like on Ringling Bros.

Monday, February 27, 2006

terrifying bursting feeling of love

Oh, where to begin. Ol' Slothy's heart is full to popping with the voluptuous stuffs of life. Thank you from the heart o' me bottom to those responsible: you know who you are, you producers of wanton gorgeousness and fun!

One of whom is Mr. David Humphrey, whose drastically intervened-with inflatable snowmen at Triple Candie are more complex, funny, surprising, and significant than you can imagine. Click on the thumbnails for a closer look:

They were damned exciting, and even more so because of their sneaky slow-burn acrobatic transfomation from Wal-Mart kitsch into real, contextually content-laden (but fun! again with the sneaky), great fucking art. How'd he do that?

And p.s., they're even better with the gallery lights turned off.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

deer mm,

here is a present for you. It's an attempt to thank you for the wonderment that I found in your shack... I know it's inadequate; a mere white fawn with a shoe-pouch carrying case can't possibly come close to expressing the delight of the fizzing sparkling waking dreamstate that I was immersed in this a.m., but I am hoping you will accept it as a token of the bottomless pile of love it represents. You are amazing, both in and out of the ether.

Friday, February 24, 2006

from the lord's tongue to your ear

preemptive strike

The following image is presented in an attempt to counteract any speciesist movie misrepresentations of slothkind that you might be exposed to in the coming weeks:

This has been a public service announcement.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

my little hallucination

This is the story of a momentary and disorienting apparition. We are enjoying a dinner of delicious pizza at Patsy's. It's kind of dark in there. At a nearby table sit a man and a woman with their little... little... what? WHAT is THAT? The hand is moving, grabbing for pizza, but the face! Giant, oversized eyes float on a small, distorted head. There are bizarre, wide-set nostrils and... horns? I stare in wonder. It is a mutant of unimaginable... Wait -- no. It's just a kid with her large fleshy pony-doll blocking the view of her actual, normal face.

This is what I saw:

Did I mention that it was dark? No, I was not drunk. Not really.

The doll was a "My Little Pony." It comes with a diaper. While most toy animals are plush, to make them appear furry and mamalian, My Little Pony has waxy, smooth skin, to make it seem more human.

Thank you, Little Pony, for that brief moment of absolute belief in big-eyed mutants.

P.S. Here is the thalidomide, fetal version, as promised:

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

they'll grow back, right?

So, there was some minor frostbite during last weekend's arctic expedition:

Unsure about what to do with them. Maybe serve them as hors d'oeuvres at a cocktail party? You know... finger food!

That's right: that is what I said and I'm not sorry.

Maybe a necklace.

Saturday, February 18, 2006


Today's public pillow fight in Union Square generated drifts of feathers, but it just wasn't quite enough to make up for the sadness of The Great Meltoff this week. So we are strapping our snowshoes on and heading north for a couple of days, where we will attempt to reenact the "agony of defeat" moments of the winter olympics thus far. Also, we will be practicing for the Freezepop competition, which is one of the lesser-known events. Wish us luck!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

keeping up with the jones

It's official: slothy is addicted to the interwebs! A googly search for "addiction symptoms" produced the following list of telltale signs:

* Seclusive behavior - long periods spent in self-imposed isolation. 
* Long, unexplained absences. 
* Lying and stealing. 
* Involvement on the wrong side of the law. 
* Deteriorating family relationships. 
* Obvious intoxication, delirious, incoherent or unconscious. 
* Changes in behavior and attitude. 
* Decrease in school performance. 
Wondering if there are any online recovery chat groups for this problem...

Saturday, February 11, 2006

touch my monkey

So, the other night, the Tee Vee was on in Log, and there was a show on PBS called Human Body Shop; it was about the latest scientific developments in body-integrated prosthetics. The last segment was about an experiment a few years ago where a monkey had a sensor implanted in its brain; the neuro synapses were transferred to a robotic arm (the arm was not attached in any way to the monkey), and the monkey learned how to control the arm with ONLY ITS MIND. It could do things like make the arm pick up a banana just by thinking about it. Also incredibly, it was completely wireless. I had read about the experiment earlier, but seeing it on the teevs was totally mindblowing.

After pondering this wonderful new technology, I have a few thoughts about it:

1. I WANT ONE. Meaning the psychokinetic chip thingy.

2. They chose the cutest possible monkey for this experiment.
I want one of those, too, preferably with a brain chip so we can communicate telepathically.

3. One day we will not need bodies at all; we'll just be brains in jars like on the Star Trek episode "Spock's Brain." I also want a Pain Belt like they had on that episode.

That is all.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

new relic

Here is a new relic that has just been completed. This relic took so long to finish, I am not going to tell you how long -- it's that embarrassing. I don't know how to link thru the image yet, so if you want to see a bigger version click here.

I am completely sick of looking at it! Thank you relic, for finally being finished. You have been a real albatross.

Sunday, February 05, 2006


The Shrub's recent State of the Union Address was otherwise flaccid, but of special concern and alarm to Logworld was his closed-minded call to pass legislation banning human-animal hybrids. In response, we have stepped up production in the LogLab, and are very excited to announce our latest creation:

The name "Triton" was floated, but it turns out that name is taken by another hybrid critter. Still pondering names... suggestions are welcome.

A question for our president: Why this discrimination against the hermaphrodites in our midst? Isn't the platypus a prime example of nature's attempt at species-mixing? What about poor Oliver, the humanzee? Would you throw him is prison for being "different?"

This proposed legislation against species-mixing represents a knee-jerk reaction to fears about "watering down" homo sapiens, and, if passed, would result a further backslide in policy. Remember: manimals are people, too!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

change of technique

Slothy has thrown the paintbrushes away & is now doing nothing but TONGUE PAINTINGS! Sort of like fingerpainting, but tastier.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

my pet

Ah pets, there is much rejoicing logside tonight, because HFP has discovered the true identity of a mysterious ipod song that has been a source of obsession for weeks now. It was only identified as "Track 6." It came to us via a friend-of-a-friend, and so on, and so on... the original info was long since lost.

After an extensive and frustrating search, Hyena finally discovered the mystery band to be the Norwegian group Datarock. The song: "Computer Camp Love." And joy upon joy, a performance video, complete with tiny synth and marching band accompaniment!

See the video here.

Caution: only click on "Computer Camp Love"... the other videos made Safari freeze up. Unless you are running a Commodore 64, Sloth recommends that you proceed to the additional materials with caution.