you are gifted

Thank you to everyone who participated in "Decipher the Freakout Image!" We have determined that it is titled Hogarth's Cloaca, and it is a picture of a Debunker family holiday gathering, circa 1992. There will be an awards ceremony, and you will ALL receive a rare first-edition copy of this classic tome:



Now off to Gristede's to procure a can of Campbell's noodle soup, for martial arts class.

contest

The breakfast bacchanale happening at chez corny inspired a Pavlov-style drool response; so a stack of flapjacks was ordered & delivered via bunny-courier to Log. The head-transport system seems hauntingly familiar...

Sorry to be repetitive. I wanted to post this image, but it wouldn't fit full-size. A special prize goes to anyone who can explain it.

drive

Nothing, nothing, nothing... and then something fast. A cascade of brain chemistry, micro-synapses, calculations, adaptive maneuvers; floating sensation, time distortion (everything looks better in slow motion, anyway).

new pets

They rode in on a banana:



There is invisible sex happening in log, times one million. The silent pulsations are distracting, but many, many new friends have been gained in the last week. They have big red eyes, they are very turned-on, and they love to bathe in wine.

Sometimes it's hard to keep track of them... they all look sort of alike (sorry -- this is an ugly thing to say; just being honest). Often it's necessary to resort to "hey," instead of a formal greeting with name. Hyena says they are called drosophila melanogaster, and they only live 3 weeks -- SAD!

For now, it is never, ever lonely, logside. Life is a mystery. It teems.

Happy Birthday, Mountain Man!

Finally back from a most fur-raising and death-defying alpine expedition. However, no injuries were sustained, due to the Spirit of Mountain Man that was everpresent in the Rockies. During the trip, a sculpture was chewed from a log as an MM birthday tribute:




As you can see in this close-up, the beard was made from black mold blooms; it will continue to sprout & grow, like a chia pet:



Unfortunately, the airplane security fascists would not allow it on board; in fact, they became very hostile and initiated an extensive and delightful cavity search (the oxy stash was discovered in this manner). There didn't seem like any other choice but to install the MM effigy at the top of Toast Mountain.

A big toast to you, MM, on your b-day! and another... and another... a tower of toasts. Yum.

shred this

The onset of winter has traditionally caused much grumbling and teeth-gnashing, Logside. This year will be different: a decision has been made to Embrace the Pain. In that spirit, Thursday morning is the departure-time for even more frigid temps in the Colorado Rockies, in order to test the survival skills with a group of tasty pals, Donner-party style. If you don't hear anything after next Wednesday, send the Saint Bernards, or you will have to wait for the spring thaw & bring a blow-drier to melt the sloth- and hyena-popsicles. It'll be sort of like when they found that frozen mastadon in the glacier... but with more tufted fur bits.

gasp... choke...

There is much hilarity at the ol' Log these days... MM & Co.'s list of bad art show titles is PANTS-WETTING! Then yesterday, friend John Bergdahl, aka Gustave Hurtz, found a site with some choice footage on the interwebs. For example:

Some of these kitty antics are hilarious.

A few fanfrickentesticle bits: OW

and a creative sports move

Such loud cackling and shrieks of laughter have been emanating from the darkness of Log, the neighbors must think that true insanity has finally set in.

leggo my head-snack

A neighbor has come up with a new, humane way to accessorize with fur. The jaunty red duct tape is a nice touch, don't you think? Fashion is such a delicate balance!

Other advantages to this new style:

1. Absorbs perspiration

2. Waffle-padding prevents injury, but looks more interesting than a tard-helmet

3. People will leave you alone, but

4. You're never lonely (rat-buddies)

5. There's always a snack on hand (the waffles)

In case anyone is interested in ordering one of these stunning creations, please specify head circumference and preferred tape color. Flavors are: Plain, Cinnamon-Raisin, and Maple-Walnut Swirl®. Hurry while supplies last!